I’m Behind
When Carrie and I started this blog, we had ambitious goals of posting every Wednesday and Sunday.
& here I am in the first month posting on a Monday.
I feel like I’m drowning.
Andrew and I have a lot of moving pieces in our personal lives right now. I could write a list, but that deters from the endless lists we all face in the craziness of today’s world. We all have moments where we say yes too much, things pile up, or certain season just bring extra stress. & no matter how big the moment - it’s easy to look at it from a fleshly perspective and think, “I have to do, get through, or figure out ‘x,y, & z’ all on my own or by a certain deadline.”
& that mindset has been so suffocating for me these past few weeks.
Honestly, P2T & building the “Thriving Community” has been the one thing my household has been excited about … everything else has felt heavy.
BUT that’s what happens when we follow our call.
Every step we take towards our purpose in Christ is seen as a challenge to the enemy, so he brings in all the distractions - for better or worse.
& I was called to remember that when I was asked to read from Mark for yesterday’s sermon. My scripture was Mark 13:1-8. But the first two verses are what God needed me to read in a new light.
“As he was going out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, “Teacher, look! What massive stones! What impressive buildings!” Jesus said to him, “do you see these great buildings? Not one stone will be left upon another - all will be thrown down.” Mark 13:1-2
Typically, I read this scripture and the notes in my Bible reflect thoughts on the destruction of the temple or the world before Jesus’ second coming. But today, I read this and thought about how many ‘massive stones’ I was letting distract me from the awe of God walking beside me.
If I was this disciple in the Bible, would I look back and regret exclaiming about ‘massive stones’ and worldly distractions to Jesus, or would I want to use my time with him for deeper conversation and purpose?
& I realized my thoughts had been all wrong. My prayers these past few weeks weren’t coming from the best heart posture.
I’ve been letting the chaos of our current season distract me. I’ve been praying to God to just help me survive and complaining about the tough moments. What I haven’t done is give thanks for his presence in this moment. I haven’t used him as a guide. I haven’t truly placed my burdens at his feet. Instead of being comforted by his presence right beside me, I’ve been telling him all about the big stones I’m seeing … like he doesn’t already know.
Yesterday, I didn’t post my Sunday blog. I came home and sat in reflection and prayer instead. At first I felt bad for neglecting this sacred time to journal and share with you all, but it’s what my heart and my spirit needed. & sometimes we all need to take those moments.
I prayed for clarity. If we are promised peace, happiness, and abundance in God, I know those things are mine for the taking. So, why wasn’t I feeling them? I prayed for what I wasn’t seeing - Where is the lesson in this season? What am I doing that isn’t in alignment with my calling? How can I improve in trusting His plan? If I truly re-focus back on the glory found in our walk with God, the rest will fall into place… and somewhere in the past two weeks I had forgotten that.
Today, I pray the same over each person reading this blog. As Christians, we get to walk in faith with God every day. Are we using those moments to exemplify his presence, fulfill our calling and cherish the blessing found in every day? Or are we letting the enemy distract us with worldly awe and ‘massive stones?’
I’m breaking those stones.
No stone is too big for my God.
No worldly distraction is greater than the promises His love gives me.
Here’s to a new week. A week focused on purpose and deliverance.
God’s Love and Mine,
Christina
