The Ball Doesn’t Even Break.

Was anyone else disappointed as a kid when you finally realized you stayed up til midnight for this BIG BALL DROP, and it slowly descends and doesn’t even break? For some reason, I imagined the NYE ball to be like a piñata of sorts? Or just wanted it to be more thrilling than what it is I guess? Maybe it’s a see it in person thing, but the first time I was allowed to truly stay up to midnight and watch it with my Nana, I was disappointed. 

Now this year, starting 2026, I’m thinking about that childhood disappointment and how instead of being disappointed in an anti-climatic countdown I usually end up disappointed in myself. 

Fortunately, this year, I am so thankful for who I am and where I am in life, but I wasn’t thankful about how I was bringing him a new year. 

I guess I got into this self reflection mode as Andrew and I casually celebrated the new years this year - no fancy outfits, elaborate dinners, or big parties. Instead, it was just our little family of four at home sick with Covid. & honestly, the comfortability and simplicity of it was the perfect way to end one year and start another (boogers aside). But as I sat on the couch after our count down and kiss, I immediately started hearing people’s resolutions and that childhood disappointment came back. 

Did I really just sacrifice precious sleep time while I have a teething baby and a toddler in a sleep regression to listen to people talk about all the things they are unhappy with about themselves? Did we just stay up for a kiss and self reflection? Honestly, I feel like we should have done this over breakfast instead. 

I told Andrew I’d had enough, turned off the TV and got ready for bed. As we crawled into bed, we said our nightly prayer and added in a blanketed prayer over our new year … then he drifted off to sleep. 

And I kept reflecting. 

We stayed home. We ate frozen pizza. We wore PJs. We put pillows and blankets on the floor. We counted in a fake New Year with Paris. We had a dance party to music we didn’t understand while we watched a light show celebration. 

It was nothing memorable. 

Nothing impressive. 

& if it wasn’t for the dance party videos my husband just sent me, I probably wouldn’t even remember it next year. 

But HE took video. 

(Thank you, my husband) 

How have I been so unimpressed by something that was so magical for our son?

I look at the photos he snapped and the videos he took, we are truly having a blast. Living in the moment, jumping and dancing together and just making memories. Turns out we had an amazing New Year’s Eve, I just hadn’t realized it because I was too worried thinking about what it should be instead of what it was. In my mind, it should have been magical and fun and planned out and decorated so that it would be this amazing moment for Cecil to experience as an almost 3-year-old. In my mind, it fell short. 

Talk about lying to myself.

Turns out it was magical and fun. Having a dance party in the living room with pillows to jump on and all of us in fun PJs was literally all my toddler needed. All of our faces in the photos and videos show pure joy. Turns out I had just let my ideas distort the beautiful night God had given us. I am so grateful that Andrew took photos and videos. I am so grateful that this perspective has changed my memory. I am so grateful for the lesson learned.

We get so caught up in what we think things should be or how we think things should go that we rely on our own selves on our own control. We forget the big man upstairs is in charge of it all. And the show he runs is better than anything we can write. 

The quiet prayers of my heart had been for more family time and the ability to just live in the moment. I have been praying for God to help me enjoy time just the four of us guilt free without feeling like I needed to invite family or share the moments. The irony of it all is he was answering those prayers that night through the most unexpected ways. Covid meant we didn’t have the ability to do anything else except live in the moment and it also meant we could do that guilt free because we couldn’t be around other people. I planned on going out and getting special decorations to make the house feel like a New Year’s Eve party, but we already had those decorations by simply moving our nugget couch onto the floor at creating this giant jumping pad. God used sickness and the simplicity of things we already owned to answer my prayers. And when I didn’t realize that… He used my husband to show me. 

Our God provides. 

I am so thankful for the provision he has in my life. I am so thankful he is smarter than me. And I am so thankful that his plans are greater than mine.

My resolution is defined the joy and every day. To focus on living a life of worship and praise and being grateful for what I do have instead of thinking about what I should have. 

My resolution is to accept the joy that God has already given me and live in it abundantly. 

As we move into this year, I pray that you too, can see through the expected and find a blessing. Just because the ball doesn’t drop and break doesn’t mean the moment isn’t magical. You find what you look for, and if we are looking for the joy and the happiness and the blessings that we already have surely we will realize our cup is already overflowing.

God’s Love & Mine, 

Christina