Dirty Soles.

Dirty soles on these little feeties are an ever present reminder that time is fleeting. 

Just last night these were fresh pajamas, clean, and new. And just two weeks ago they would’ve stayed that way. But in a week’s time our 11 month old baby has gone from crawling to walking. And he is walking everywhere and doing everything his big brother is. 

It seems like no matter how much I clean my house and make sure his surroundings are spotless, in a matter of minutes, his little footie Pajamas are dirty - just in time for bed. 

Laying here in the calm of early morning spring light, taking in his sweet little face, rubbing these little toes, and listening to all his little sleep sounds my heart is so overcome with joy, sadness, hope and peace. 

I think about the changes that have happened in these short 11 months. I think about his growth and development - how quickly a baby turns to a toddler. I think about how dependent he was on me and how that has turned into a quick glance back just to make sure I’m watching. Babies change and grow and develop so fast. 

Clean little toes, turn into dirty feet in a blink of an eye. 

And while I can sit here and reflect on motherhood and a happiness it brings me… This isn’t a blog for that. 

I think about how quickly these soles go from clean to dirty, and I think about my soul and how quickly it too can change. 

With the celebration of resurrection of Jesus fast approaching, Lent always brings about a season of repentance for me. 

Just like baby Ellis Lee’s feet, no matter how much I change my environment and try and keep it clean, dirt or sin in this case will find a way in. Just like earth is filled with dirt, this broken world is filled with sin… and both are impossible to escape.

As a mother, I want my children to have a clean home, to stay away from harm, to be safe and know they are loved. As a mother, I know little boys will get dirty, have daring moments, and get their feelings hurt. But, I know they will come home to me. I know they know they need me. They know they can depend on mom to clean the mess, mend the boo boo and snuggle them up when they are sad. Though they are too little to know the words, they know my love is unconditional. 

& I can’t help but sit here think, “Wow, that is kingdom work.” 

Kingdom work is being the tangible hands and feet of Jesus in this broken world. 

Kingdom work is motherhood. 

Just as I want my little boys to be in the best environment surrounded by the best people - our God wants that for us. Just as I want my little boys to be safe and know they are loved - our God wants that for us. Just as I want my little boys to have clean soles and rest at the end of a long day - our God wants that for us. 

Just like these little soles will get dirty every day as he starts to navigate his own way in this world, every day, I too will fall short of the kingdom and have sin on my soul that I will need to repent. 

I’m sure there have been better sermons than my thoughts laying in bed but the comparison of our soles to our souls is weighing heavy on me today.  

If you’ve read my other blogs or listened to our podcasts, you know I was raised Brethren and raised with the Easter tradition of having a Love Feast and washing feet the Thursday before Easter to symbolize the night Jesus would have washed the feet of his disciples and shared the last supper with them. The symbolism of washing the soles of our feet and his blood washing our souls does not go unnoticed in my home church. And it’s not going unnoticed this morning while I am feeling all the love watching this sweet baby sleep. 

No matter how hard we try or how little he does between bath and bed, it’s impossible for this little boy to go to bed with clean soles. Likewise, no matter how hard we try throughout the day, there is going to be a blemish that hits us from this broken world. We need Jesus. We need to be washed in the blood. We need to repent to have true rest in him. As you go into this week, remember our Heavenly Father wants to remove the burden of sin from our lives, so our souls may be clean and we may find rest in His kingdom. We just have to go to Him in prayerful repentance.

God’s Love & Mine, 

Christina