Marriage is Hard - But it’s Holy.
“Marriage is hard.”
That’s how I started my journal entry last night. Just three simple words - Honest. Unfiltered. True.
Getting engaged is beautiful. Planning a wedding is stressful, yet magical because you know the day is coming when you say “yes” to your forever person. The honeymoon? Bliss. Everything feels light and effortless. And then real life begins. The excitement settles. The routines form. And there you are—doing daily life with the person God chose for you. Day in and day out. In the mundane. In the messy. In the moments no one else sees.
I’ve been married almost six years to the man I truly believe God handpicked for me. And do you know who else knows that? The enemy. Satan hates unity. He hates covenant. He hates anything that reflects God’s design.
From the very beginning in Genesis, we see God’s heart for marriage: “the two shall become one.”
Marriage is meant to mirror Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5).
It is sacred.
It is powerful.
It builds the Kingdom.
So of course, the enemy studies it. He watches patterns. He looks for weaknesses. He pays attention to what triggers us—what makes us feel unseen, unheard, misunderstood. When a husband and wife start arguing, he doesn’t run away. He leans in. He sees it as an open door.
And that’s when marriage feels hard.
There have been moments when my husband and I have felt like we were on completely different planes. Moments where I felt unheard. Moments where he felt the same. Disagreements. Silence. The temptation to shut down instead of lean in. We battle our flesh daily—pride, assumptions, hurt feelings, tone, timing. And if we’re not careful, we can let those moments linger.
One of the most powerful things my husband and I have learned to do is stop and pray right there in the middle of it. Not later. Not after hours of stewing. Right then. We invite the Holy Spirit into the conversation. We ask Him to lead our words, soften our hearts, and bring peace that we cannot manufacture on our own. And He does.
Does that mean we never disagree? No. It means we don’t stay there. We don’t live in those moments. We don’t love each other less in those moments. We don’t allow the enemy to turn a disagreement into division. Instead, we fight for unity—together.
Maybe you’re in a season where you feel unseen or unheard by your spouse. Maybe communication feels strained. Maybe you’re tired. Take a moment. Talk to God first. Ask Him to work in your heart before you focus on your spouse’s. Invite the Holy Spirit to be in charge of those hard conversations. Ask Him to open your eyes to see your spouse the way He does. Because one thing I know for sure: God makes no mistakes.
If He brought you together, He has grace for your differences. He has wisdom for your disagreements. He has healing for your wounds. Marriage is hard. But it is also refining. It is sanctifying. It is sacred. And I would not trade my husband—or even the hard conversations—for anything. Because in those moments, when we stop and pray together, I’m reminded that this covenant isn’t just about us. It’s about God being glorified through two imperfect people choosing, over and over again, to become one.
God’s Love and Mine,
Carrie
